Now that I am 28 I often find myself thinking about a relationship. To those that know me this may seem odd b/c I have turned down quite a few serious quests in the past. At least 2 in as many years... While in these relationships I knew that they were not for me. I knew these dudes were not guys that I could see myself with for more than 30 minutes at a time; more-less for a longterm relationship. Don’t get me wrong, both dudes were cool. Just not my style.
Whenever I say that someone’s not my style, automatically the question comes: What’s your style? Well, I think my “style” is pretty cut and dry and one would think not too hard to come by. Here’s my list. My perfect man in black and white (red and black for the purpose of this post):
Number 1: I like a guy that has a sense of humor. I mean real humor.. I’ve met a few dudes that think they are HILARIOUS! Turns out they’re just delusional ‘cause their friends, dick riders and bitches that wanna fuck ‘em laugh at every fuckin’ thing they say. Regardless of if it’s funny or not. More often than not they lack the wit for true comedy. Not everybody has it.. I can dig it. I need one of ‘em that got it. I love to laugh. I can find humor in just about anything and I need a dude that can go joke for joke wit my silly ass. I once met a dude that had this DOWN! Nigga was funny as fuck! We could watch a movie together and be right on with the parts we find funny. Even shit that was subtly funny. We caught the humor. I mean.. We could talk for hours bout nothing at all and be crackin’ up! I loved that! But.. He lacked in other departments. And thus.. the relationship died before it ever began.
Number 2: I can’t do those dudes that lack CONFIDENCE! Some people may think that once a motherfucker is grown that’s a given. Nope. I’ve come across so many men that don’t know how to live their own lives. Always looking to the next for reassurance. Waiting to see what their man gonna do or wear or listen to so that they can then decide to like the same things. To do the same things. To be in the same places, etc.. It’s pathetic! Dudes that do this lame shit lack confidence. Can’t stand on their own two. I LOATHE this! This may be because I can give 2 fucks what the next is or isn’t doing. I like what I like. I do what I like. I be where I be. Whoever doesn’t like it..That’s on them. I’ma still rock shit the way I wanna. Dudes (and bitches for that matter) that live their lives to gain acceptance by others make me ill. Seriously! This and humor could run for the top spot for real. I NEED A CONFIDENT MAN!!!
Number 3: This may seem very shallow, but... I can’t fuck with a man that lacks inches. I’ma leave it at that.
Number 4: I love a man that is simply himself. In other words: NO FAKES, please!! At this age, I thought niggas stopped all the fakin’ way back in high school (if they ever started that lame shit at all). What’s with dudes thinking that all a chick wants is some hard ass wannabe thug? Now, if dude truly is some hard ass thug, I ain’t checkin’ for that and wouldn’t fuck with him from the jump. But, these dudes that ain’t livin’ like that KILL me getting in public and wanna talk all loud or be ice grillin’ and shit for no apparent reason!! Or dude want to talk about sellin’ drugs and hanging on the corner and shit. Knowing good and well he just working a 9-5 like everybody else, (if that). That shit ain’t appealing. It’s a definite blower. If I was interested, once that shit comes out, I’m DONE!
So, there you have it. Is it wrong for me to want a REAL nigga wit his own swagg, a man-sized penis, and a serious sense of humor?? IS IT?! I don’t think I’m reachin’ too far wit that. I met a dude that met all criteria once before. Took me 21 years to meet him. I foolishly fucked ‘round with his mind and emotions. I was young. I thought that if he was so great that maybe there were other dudes out there that were even greater than him. I should have known better. What I absolutely do know..Right now. 10/17/2010. Is that I cannot wait till I’m 42 to find this perfect guy again! I’m kind of fed up at this point. I don’t actually put effort into searching...Maybe I should. *shrugs*
**I left out some things that are just an absolute given. Not because I don’t want them, but because they are understood such as, dude must: Be employed and not be abusive or abuse drugs or alcohol. Just a FYI