Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Love & Hip Hop Atlanta: BOOTLEG BULLSHIT!!

Yes... BOOTLEG. BULLSHIT. ('kay..)

When I say bullshit!!! This damn premiere was so shitty, in fact, that I cut that shit slam off right in the middle! And I wanted to see when Stevie J's girl got him out the back of the car with his lil "mistress" too! They showed that before a commercial break and it looked funny as hell, but I couldn't even stomach it long enough to actually get to that part in the damn show!

But first can I give a lil character breakdown from what I see?...

Stevie J: MAD CORNY!! The first damn scene when he took his girlfriend of 15 years!! (I'll get on that bullshit a lil later.) to a house that he plans to get for her and their 2 year old daughter and he said, "I love you." in what, I suppose, was SUPPOSED to come off as sexy/pouty... I wanted to fuckin' BARF!!! That look was so fuckin' repulsiiiiivvvvvve!!! REPULSIVE!! And cheesy!! All I could think is: Had I been his girl at that moment, he would have been snatched off that damn counter or smacked dead in the face in the most violent way I could possibly muster! (Turn off times 90 trillion!! UGH!!) And I should have turned then, but I THOUGHT the show would go on to be something I'd maybe enjoy. So, I didn't. (Big mistake!)

Dude also puts on blast that he is dating this latina "chick" that Look'aLikeAMahn (Ms. Chin-style). Again: CORNY!!! Who the fuck does that?! The mistress is to be a lil secret, I thought. But his cheesy ass allows a camera crew to record him and this chick Joselyn or Joseline (or however the hell she spells it) in a studio alone, hugging and kissing and shit. And at one point during that scene he motions for her to get up while a song that she recorded is playing. And he sits back like he the pimp of the year and takes in her wack moves like this cheesy shit is capping off a good night. DUDE!!!! YOU IS KILLIN' MEEEEEEE!!! Yeah. He may have a lil bit of ends and all, but really??... He needs to invest a bit more wisely: GO TO COOL NIGGA SCHOOL or some shit. (Or is that kinda like the same thing as "You can't buy class"?? Nigga can't buy no cool, 'parently.)

Being a (recent) fan of Love & Hip Hop, I can say Stevie J plays the part of a Jim Jones. He's super wack and nothing at all like Jim, but I see the parallel Vh1 was pressed to attempt to create, as well as  Jocelyn playing the role of Atlanta's Somaya Reece.

Stevie J's girl (I don't know her name): She's just a damn brick! Or at least she acts a smart as one... She says that she has been with this dude for 15 years! 15!! And cries and complains that he sees other women. Chile, GET OVER IT!! Or GET ON WIT' IT! You been stayed for 15 damn years through all the cheating and shit! If you ain't like it, or if you currently don't like it, step off. Simply as that! But, nooooooo!! He got the dough. So, she stays. I am sure that is the only reason that she stays. 'Cause I damn sho' can't see what she'd love about that face! When you got an ugly dude with an ugly 'tude... What the fuck could make you want to keep close to that?! NOT A DAMN THING!! But when you got an ugly motherfucka with an ugly attitude and some good money... Biiiiiitttccccch! You ain't said nothin'! We know why the hell you staying. That ass is paid for. Can't knock the hustle, but please stop putting on the shows like you just love him so much you can't let go! Especially when he fuckin' this damn tranny right in front of yo face!

Another pressed Vh1 character parallel: Stevie's girl tries to act like Chrissy (Jim Jones' girl/fiance/wife). If you saw the show, you would have noticed, as I did, that her mannerisms while talking one-on-one with the cam is very much like Chrissy. The talking with the hands and the head... Chrissy all the way! (Or maybe Yandy..) That shit is too much! I understand Vh1 just want to keep the ball rolling because the original Love & Hip Hop was so popular, but please don't introduce "new" people that simply try to imitate the original cast. That shit's dumb!

Scrappy: The rapper from the early 2000's.. I can't even think of any of his songs right now, but I remember the face. Him and his daughter's mother are another couple on the show. I can't stand that she sat down and asked him about that shit as far as Diamond cheating on him and leaving him for Soulja Boy. I mean... really?..really?? That shit was like Spring 2011 news! I have no idea when this show was recorded, but I am sure Vh1 wrote the script for that to be included. NOBODY CARES!!! When that "scandal" hit the 'net last year ain't nobody give a shit! I guess the production folks thought that someone somewhere wanted to know from Scrappy exactly what happened and how he felt when it did. NOBODY CARES!!! It ain't like Beyonce cheated on Jay and left him. People (myself included) would care about that shit. But, we talking about a rapper that had one or two songs over a decade ago. STOP IT!! And again, I wanted to turn, but thought "Surely this show can't be this shitty all the way through." AND I WAS WRONG! It got more shitty, indeed.

Scrappy's mama:  All I can say is... WHAT THEE FAWK?! They come on tv talking about she used to be a dope dealer and a pimp and shit! (Spare me!!) And then she says that Diamond's cooch was stank and shit! Just a mess!

And more Vh1 bullshit: Scrap's mom is supposed to be the Mama Jones of da South. She even has her own catch phrase: "And in that order!"

After Stevie J. and that Joseline chick in the studio, I turned that shit off. I couldn't stand nomo'! So, I didn't catch any other folks in the cast, but an artist named Michelle K. (I think) is also on the show. I don't know if she's already obtained a record deal or if she still shoppin', but we can all see she is the Olivia of ATL. Vh1 is reachin' mighty hard and that's that shit I DON'T LIKE!!

And just a tiny, lil more.. I heard after Charlamagne gave Stevie J. "Donkey of The Day" yesterday, saying that he's fuckin' with "RihannaMan"/a transexual, Joseline then took to Twitter and posted a naked picture of herself in an attempt to prove she is 100% woman. And I hear that was a fail because her shoulders are broad, legs are masculine and feet are big. o_O (BooP! Bye, girl.)

Annnnnd you know what... in addition to a lil Chrissy, Stevie J's girl is also giving us a lil Emily B., loving a cheating man that don't give a flying fuck.

Overall, I hate the show off the 1st episode. I may give it a try next week. It's good for blogging.

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