Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta Season 1, Episode 2... "And The Dumb Shit Continues!"

Did I not tell y'all last week that I would only watch episode 2 (after not even finishing one) only because these fools are good for blogging?!! The cast, nor production, ain't let me down one bit Monday night. Not one bit! The same foolishness from episode one continues: A lot of staged shit and bad acting.

Before getting into what I gathered from this episode, I do admit that I missed the first 7 or so minutes, so it is highly possible that I missed some great ratchet, hot mess bullshit that'll be missing from this post. So, sorry for any foolish goodness that's not included, y'all.

This week's episode majorly revolved around part of episode one that I missed: Stevie J and his "girl" Joseline being cozied up at K. Michelle's party and his on-again-off-again girlfriend of 15 years, Mimi, catching them in the, (quite openly), flirtatious act.  Karlie, a cast member that is trying to make it in the music biz, that just happens to be one of Mimi's road dogs from back in the day, told Mimi that Stevie J. and Joseline gots to be fuckin' from what she witnessed, sitting at the table with them at this party. I guess that caused Mimi to question him on it and a huge "Made for T.V." scene ensued with Mimi and Stevie arguing and Stevie and Joseline arguing and Mimi storming out of the venue and Joseline throwing a drink on him.... Ahhhhhhhh!!! Y'all bitches and these stuntin' ass shows is killin' me DEAD!!

I believe I mentioned last week how super corny I think Stevie J to be. (let's check back on that... Yes. CONFIRMED!! I mentioned that.) This is obviously a dude that suffered from a lack of pussy when growing up and or a lack of attention, in general. I'm seriously thinking it's a strong combination of both. 'Cause here we have like a (pushing on) 50 year old man playing these games out in the open. Affairs are SECRETS!!! Did he miss the memo?? I don't think he did. His old ass just wants the attention and feeling of gratification he gets from bitches going at it over him. Who the fuck takes the jumpoff anywhere near a place where people that are mutual friends with him and his girl will be?? Who the fuck takes the sidepiece to an event where he knows there's a good chance that his girl will show up?! Unless that sidepiece is well trained and knows how to play her position as simply his newest project and a dude is 10,000% sure of this, ain't no way in hot Hell a nigga would do such shit!

And let's be clear, I don't respect dudes that play these types of games, but if you out to play a game, please play that shit well.  I've seen niggas invite sidepieces to cookouts and shit... He pull up with the main chick and shit. And that jumpoff knows not to give the shit away. Most likely, she don't even want his ass besides a fuck or bread that he break off, so she ain't even tryna break up no "happy" home. Now, that! is some disrepectful, discreet type shit. The exact two ingredients that affairs consist of. What Stevie J is pulling is just plain old disrespectful and he is loving it!! His cheesy ass loves a good ole fashion argument with his girl about who else he fucking. As well as a good old argument with his side chick about whatever the hell jumpoffs and niggas argue about. Whether good or bad, it's all attention for his old, Attention Whore ass.

(Whew Lawd!!! I don't like that man and don't even know his ass!)

So, as a result of that whole party scene, Mimi wasn't talking to him and he went to assure her that him and Joseline ain't fucking. And the whole time he's grinning because he's lame like that. And she even entertains his dumb actions because she's obviously a Lame Lover like that. She steady hollerin' "Why you smilin'?!" and he stands across from her pretending to be trying his hardest not to smile while she speaks on such a serious issue. But, don't worry. He pacified her with the offer of a lifetime!!: "5% of the Joseline project!" (WHOA!!! Slow YA ROW!!! 5%?!!!!) But you know what?? Mimi's no fool. She straight bossed that deal, closing at 10%!!! Damn! That equates to.... (Hold up... Calculation in process. What's .10 x $0?)... NOTHING!!  What the fuck kinda deals this bitch out here brokering for herself?!! Stop!! Just stop!!!!! Get a lawyer.  Get an accountant, 'cause girlfriend, you fuckin' yaself up out here in these skreetz!

When she sat there with that stone-serious face talking about, "Nah... I want 5 from you and 5 from her!" My laughter was delayed a lil because I wasn't sure if she was just joking, or....?? Me and Stevie J had something in common to laugh about at that moment. Again: If I was her, he would been smacked and told "Get ya stupid ass the fuck up outta my shit!" (Warning: you can only smack up cheeseball niggas like a Stevie J. Please don't try that shit wit a real nigga.) But, bless her heart, as I pointed out last week, she just as stupid as she can wanna be. The resolution to this nigga disrespecting you right in front of your face is 10% of zero...??? (now if this Joseline bitch blow in the future, I'll be lookin' stupid. LOLzzz. I don't see it happening, though.)

So the Karlie chick, she invites Mimi over to continue talking about the whole blowup at the party between her, Stevie and Joseline. Mimi confirms that they are very much together. Karlie confirms that Steve and J are very much fucking (from her observations). And then she tells Mimi she badly wants to work with Stevie J for a "hit". Now. I truly believe in the saying, "It's never too late." I recently met a lady that got to be pushin' mid to late 50's that told me she graduated last Spring with her Master's degree. She said it took 7 consecutive years, but she did it! Started from the Bachelor's... From scratch... 7 years... Done already lived at least a good 60%+ of her natural life expectancy but still, she went back to achieve something that was important to her in life. I think that's beyond dope! Determination is quite a force to be reckoned with...

But, getting back to Karlie... Ma'am. (Gotta keep it respectful when addressing your elders) You are about a good 42?... I wouldn't give you no more than 45. But, definitely in your early 40's somewhere. And, honeychild, you look damn good for your age! But just what kind of music are you planning to give to the masses?? o.O Unless you trying to come out on some Kem shit or some other type of super laid back, Jazz type shit, I don't think you'd be well-received. Not coming from no hater, either. I'm simply telling you how it is, miss.  And you probably got it fucked up in your mind, because you see the stars of yesteryear that you grew up listening to and admiring and you think that since they in their 40's now and still doing shows when they can and people still love them, that you can do the same. But, it don't quite work like that, mami. (Just don't quite work like that.) If you had a fan base since you were in your teens, 20's or even early 30's, they tend to follow you through your career. And in addition to those that remained faithful to your art from the beginning, over the years you pick up more and more generations of fans. So, yes, you can be a 40 year old star. Jumping into the pool at 40, though?.... (I don't know...)

And why does she think Stevie J can make it happen for her? And even if he can, why would she want him to make it happen for her?! Has she no PRIDE?! After she done put this man and his affair on blast to her "friend", why would she look for any favors from him?! My pride would not allow it. But, I suppose it's different strokes for different folks, huh?

Just after Joseline told Stevie, "No fairy godmother this month." and the two's lil spat over the difference between being 3 weeks late and an entire month late, Mimi enters the studio and lets it be known that she owns 10% of the Joseline Project! ANNNNNNDDD that means, she runnin' shit. And not Joseline and that Joseline ain't got no business telling Karlie (as she did earlier in the show) that she is numero uno on Stevie's roster and that Karlie will be working with her bf of 15 years, whether Stevie likes it or not and wether his mistress likes it or not. (Told her, didn't she?!.. CLOWN SIT DOWN!! Mimi needs to take a seat!) But did y'all peep Mimi and Stevie's greeting when she came up to the piano, where him and J was sitting though? Tell me that shit ain't look awkward and fake as hell!!

After this scene, Joseline pays Karlie a visit at the gym to tell her to not talk to Mimi about her and to also remind her that she is 1st priority with Stevie and Karlie will only work with him if she says so. As someone mentioned on Twitter: That's how you know this shit is scripted. How the fuck, outta all the gyms in Atlanta, did Joseline know this particular lil gym would be where Karlie works out and at what time she'd be there?? (Peculiar, right?) Staged like a mofo!

So, Karlie, who is supposed to be Mimi's friend, I thought... Tells Joseline that it's not her that be talking about Joseline; it's Mimi. And she also goes on to say that the two women need to let her know which is Stevie's manager because one it saying she can work with him and the other is saying she can't. What the fuck is wrong with this lady?! If Mi is ya girl, you don't go telling this bitch Mimi was talking about her. And you also don't go telling this bitch that her and Mi is both pulling Stevie in different directions. She talking to this chick like she's her friend and not Mimi. That conversation should have at the very least been nothing said at all from Karlie's end but a few "Um hmm...Okay.."'s. At the most, she should have cursed Joseline's ass out. "Bitch, don't be interrupting my fuckin' workout with this bullshit!"

Oh, and Joseline ain't do shit to help those transexual rumors when she said that she hopes someone nice and young taps Karlie's ass. Immediately I thought to myself, "Why don't you do it Joseline?? You know she'd be no match for your masculine strength?..." Then secondly I thought, "Maybe because her  fairy godmother ain't show..." Then I thought, "Naahhhhhh! She just knows it's wrong for her to beat a bitch down when she is naturally stronger."

And because of the absence of her "fairy godmother", Joseline took a pregnancy test, which she later produced straight from her handbag for her (alleged) baby daddy to witness. And as is his corny steez, Stevie J began to speak as if she made a mistake with some other guy and she has to think of her career and blah, blah, blah... (This dude really works my nerves) And why is he stuck in the 90's/early 2000's with the matching Gucci hat and shoes?? That what that real money do for ya?? And how about when he grabbed his d*ck talking about if Joseline wanted 50%. (Disturbing.)

Okay... Scrappy. He lives with his baby mama!!! (What in the world is going on?!) Anyways, he says that his career is stressing him out. The lack thereof, or....???? And you know, I thought I almost remembered one of his songs the other day too... "Meet me in the square...It's goin' d'ahn!.." But then I remembered that was Young Joc...

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