Monday, August 27, 2012

I Was Literally Called "Ma'am"!!



Like how I slapped that alias on top??
I recently had a birthday on August 23rd. (That's right. the Virgo Season has begun!) And I've hit a numerical milestone: 30!!

As I began to approach 30, (every year after 25), I realized that my perspective of 30 changed. When I was a little young thang, in my early 20's, 30 was like... "Old." After 25 I'm just all like, "I still look young and fresh.... Feel young and fresh..." At 28, I was mistaken for much younger all the time and I can thank good genes for that. Blessed, some would say. (lol)

But now, at the age of 30 and at my heaviest weight ever: 163 pounds, I dare to say, I'm not looking too youthful here, lately. And that shit SUCKS!! And here's a lil story that makes it all the more suckier:

I took my 13 year old son shopping for school clothes and supplies over the weekend. We visited Zumiez looking for Supra sneakers and Diamond tees and whatever other slimmy slim kid items he fancied. A really cool lil dude helped us out, holding things at the register and whatnot. I was liking his assistance until he said, "No, ma'am" and "Yes, ma'am" about 2 times (too many).

This kid was maybe in his early 20's. Possibly late teens. The first "ma'am" that slipped out was excusable. After all, when I was his age, anyone over 29/30 was "old". But that second "ma'am" had me feeling, "Ugh!" and mighty self conscious. When I stepped into the fitting room with my son and saw my chunky reflection in the mirror clad in a pair of Michael Kors khaki shorts, a tight tee that did nothing to mask my bulging midsection, and that damn walking boot (long story), I saw every reason why I am "Ma'am". And I hate it!!

After this little encounter, I think I kind of understand why some old(er) folks go out of their way to attempt to hold on to their younger days by dressing younger, styling their hair younger, speaking the young kids' lingo and so on. And it hurts me to the core to even say that I "get" that bull. I mean, I laugh (hard) at those types. The Frankies (Keyshia Cole mama) of the world. Ain't much funnier than a 50+ year old woman wearing a played out, tight Baby Phat suit, Air Jordans and loud make up. That's hilarious and plain old silly.

I really should not identify with the "Ma'am Syndrome" (as I have dubbed it) as much as my 30 year old, young self does. And if anyone spots me in a teenager 'fit, please set my cheek on fire with a smack. (Save me from myself.)

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