Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Love & Hip Hop Atlanta Reunion Part I: Ain't Sh*t Change

Pic found @
I hate the day that all these reality shows decided that it's best to keep its audience in suspense and chop the Reunion Show in half to drag it out over 2 weeks, instead of giving it all to us in one episode. Monday night Part I of the Love & Hip Hop, Atlanta-style Reunion aired. It was the most drawn out hour of circle talking EVER!! The last half was all about Mimi, Joseline and Stevie J.'s creep ass. It got to the point where I was like, "Okay. We get it. Steve's a weird, delusional creep. Joseline's an ex-stripper that struggles with English pronunciation. And Mimi is just an older lady that lacks common sense. They'll (all 3), always be involved with one another, whether direct or indirect." Sheesh! And I'll touch on that more later. First, let me touch on all that I found either surprising or flat-out hilarious!

Karli Redd. Why must we play games, lady? Was she attempting a joke when she told K. Michelle she is the same age as her? And would that joke be that she is trying to say K. Michelle looks old?... Or is the joke simply in the sarcasm of her even saying those words?.. I don't get it. Why is this lady tryna go around masking her age? Because if ole Karlz ain't nothing... (Not a singer or a rapper or a dancer or an actress or whatever).. she IS a looker. Nice frame. Pretty face. If anything, if she revealed that she is in the 40+ club that just might get her some points. Most would be like, "Damn!! She looks good!" From a far, Karli could easily pass for late 20's, maybe. But close up it ain't hard to tell that she's "mature"-looking. I would give her early 40's.

And then she didn't want to speak on her daughter. Not even her daughter's age, because according to Karli, her daughter has to go to school and she didn't want her caught in the mix of mean and malicious things said as a result of what her mom (Karli) does on this reality series. Okay, Karli. Playtime is up. Your daughter is 18. If she is in school, she better be at the least, a freshman in college. Ain't nobody gonna tease her because yo ass is making a fool of yourself on television by giving Roscoe Dash a lap dance and sucking face with Benzino and running back telling everything you possibly can. And if they do, she is 18 YEARS OLD!! Hopefully, you have prepared her for the world and she can handle herself if something like a "Ya mama" joke should arise.

I do mean, really.. Come the fuck on. Karli looks damn good. Body and face-wise she is beating many chicks half her age. Hands down! 'Fess up and carry on, I say!

K. Michelle pissed Rasheeda off to the point of wanting to get physical on the stage. Their exchange began because Mona brought up the blow up K. Michelle had when she and Rasheeda was outside sitting down and Rasheeda suggested that (possibly) Memphitz didn't beat K. as she says he did. So, while on the stage, K. Michelle sticks by her guns, saying that Memphitz did beat her. Rasheeda says that she doesn't believe it. And then things took a bit of a more personal tone. Many fighting words were tossed back and forth. Both ladies sat up on the edge of their seats.. And then K. Michelle did it... She said, "...Wit dem bags un'dah yo eyes."

That did it!! Rasheeda popped up off that couch like a firecracker was lit under them cakes! "You don't know me! I'm from da 'A'!!" (She ain't say that. I made that up. But she should have.) 'Sheeda was up and swiftly advancing towards Ms. Michelle. "Let me have my bags!" (Now, that she did say. Or at least something close to it.) She's touchy about them damn, barely-there bags, ain't she?! Of all things that was spewed between the two of them on that stage, Rasheeda wanted to take it to the max over a comment about undereye bags. LMAO!! (Who woulda thUnk?..)

Peep the teef-ah-SIZZ
And Rasheeda ain't the only one K. blessed on the stage. As mentioned above, she and Karli had some words over Karli's age and denial. Karli told her that she looks like the bottom of her shoe and asked if anyone has ever seen K's teeth prior to the veneers. She says K. was a horrible mess!

Lo' and behold..The very next day the pic to the left hit the 'net. Karli ain't never lie about the girl having a jacked up grill. (Talk about low blows!)

And not to be the only one to take a hit below the belt, K. Michelle brought up Karli's child. Asked her where was her daughter. Just all 'round messy on that damn stage! She know Karli tryna protect her daughter from backlash for her actions on this damn show! *sarcasm*

..And it gets messier..

Stevie J., Scrappy, Joseline and Erica all took the stage at once to talk about the infamous fight scene between the four of them this season. (The one that was prefaced with these words from Scrappy, "I'ma put dem "PAUSE" (paws) on 'em.", but the footage ain't show much of that go down, actually.) On the Reunion stage, each side said they won and recounted what happened to who during the brawl. Scrappy even stood up and offered to demonstrate once more. Luckily, that was diffused before anymore "Pause" could be thrown about. That was for the sake of all involved because: Stevie is too old for the mess. Erica ain't really tryna scrap, running her mouth while not making even the slightest move to fight. Joseline, (who I finally believe was born a woman), ain't tryna put none of her masculine strength on a bitch.  And Scrappy is dodging (parole) violations. And me??..I just ain't tryna see nomore bear hug matches.

After that set Stevie J and his two women: Joseline and Mimi all three had there time on the stage. Too much time if you ask me! How long can we stretch a convo on their relationship(s)? If their set was 15 minutes, that was about a good 15 minutes too long, for me. Stevie is corny. And Mimi ain't got no sense; talkin' bout, "Every woman gets cheated on, so don't judge me!"

No, Mimi. We are going to judge you. And this is why:  Dude cheats in your face! Not only in yo' face, but he then smears it all over yo' face! And still, you stay. Mimi is right, majority of women in relationships are cheated on regularly. The difference between her situation and that of the majority of other women is that their men care enough to be discreet. Cheating is a bad enough offense on it's own and a total betrayal, if you ask me. Most men don't want their girl to ever find out that they been in some shit they should not have been and will go to great lengths to keep it under wraps. Not Stevie. He brings the cheating damn near to Mimi's front door. And still, she excuses it. He doesn't care much about you, Mi. You heard him loud and clear when he told you on the season finale that you should thank him because he gave you a kid when all the other niggas threw you to the side.

No matter anything he ever said or says before or after that, that one sentence makes it loud and clear on how he feels about her. She's a jumpoff that he saved and let ride with him. AND he gave her old(er) ass a kid. She was probably worried about hurrying to birth a child and had no other prospects around. Her longtime "on again-off again" boo was the only one there to help her out. And that's how he sees her. No doubt there is love there. But I think it's more on the friendship tip type love. It's definitely not the "I love and adore this woman" type of love. Stevie has no sort of adoration nor respect for Mimi and I think she just needs to get the hell over it! And stop saying dumb shit in interviews and on tv!

Oh, and Joseline addressed the rumor of whether she was born a man or not. Of course, she says that she was born a woman. And I finally believe her. I think her explanation of that mug shot and her alias "S. Bettencourt" from down Miami made me change my beliefs on that topic. Joseline explained that she had been stripping since the age of 16 and the alias was from a fake ID that she had. That makes sense. And the fact that she definitely appears feminine in the mugshot.. I don't know...I just believe her.

The "Puerto Rican Princess" (what Joseline dubbed herself on the season finale) says all the haters are just mad because she's PERFECT! I ain't mad, but I am having a hard time figuring out the extreme level of TAUT that ab section got going on.

Anyways, (as stations do for continued ratings), Part II of the reunion airs Monday night. Be sure to watch with me!

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