Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Basketball Wives LA Season Recap & The Reunion Part I

Basketball Wives LA.  A cast that I don't believe I've written anything about for the season that just wrapped up last night.  And believe me! Just 'cause I ain't write 'bout 'em don't mean I ain't have shit to say 'bout 'em, 'cause this season was CRAZY!! How the fuck was it boring and crazy all in one?! I really can't answer that.  I just know that these ladies made it happen.

First, let's talk about Laura.  That bitch got THE plastic surgery makeover of all fuckin' makeovers, didn't she?! She hit the scene damn near looking better than her sis Gloria! Everyone that I say this to always says, "She had just had a baby last season and ain't lose all her weight yet." BULLSHIT!!! I'm talking about her nose,  the set of her jaw, the eyes...In addition to that waist line and sucked in gut.  This bitch went under the knife.  She looks a lot better.  Kudos to her.  She was super fucked up, funny looking last season.  She still got that funny look to her, but all-in-all, she was lookin' cute this season.

The one thing I wish she would have done is dropped those spiked backpacks.  I know she well into her mid-30's.  Leave those type of accessories to your kids, Laura.  She looked silly as fuck with the whole line of that backpack in every shade available.  That was just crazy.  I have no idea who makes the "Koopa" bag (I just gave it that name), maybe it's expensive.  But, I've said it before and I'll say it again and again, as many times as I need to: EXPENSIVE DON'T MAKE IT CUTE OR ALRIGHT!! (Please know that.)  She looked a damn fool! Especially when she dressed for Malaysia's skate party in the old-school attire, pigtails and sweatband.

But then again, Laura is immature.  That would explain her kiddie ass bags and her kiddie attitude and her kiddie ass logic.  Y'all saw how she was on Jackie this season.  Jackie's old, crazy ass, I really ain't feelin', but Laura beat her in the Crazy Department this season.  Laura was playing this dumb ass game of pretending like she likes Jackie when she is around Jackie but when she wasn't around her, saying how much she doesn't like it and is going to make her pay for fuckin' around with Laura's emotions last season.

..WHAT?!! Like, get the fuck over it!!  If Laura feels as though Jackie did her dirty last season and she ain't with it, she should have simply avoided Jackie this season. Or beat her ass. That's it.  When you don't like someone, you keep your distance.  If they really got to you and you can't stand it, try ya hand. Smack a bitch.  Punch a bitch.  Kick a bitch.  Something!!!  Just don't do that ole elementary shit like, "I'ma get her back and talk about her behind her back and get in her biz like she did me."  What the fuck is that?! That plan involves too much time and thought.  Just leave the bitch alone! (DAMN!!)

Laura played herself in a major way this season.

Bambi.  Is she serious about her "rap career"? She is horrible!!! Reminds me of a older, bigger, darker Kreayshawn.  I mean.. Y'all heard the lyrics.  No fuckin BUENO!! (At least Kreayshawn is catchy.) And bless Malaysia's heart. She's Bambi's biggest cheerleader because they been girls since their teenage years.  That's sweet and all, but the truth MUST prevail!! That girl cannot rap!  Now, she got a body 'bout her.  Maybe she should hook up with Brooke and Draya and see what she gotta do to get the cover of King magazine or something.  She could totally do that.  But the rapping??.. Ummmm.. (No.)

And why she so hellbent on going at Gloria?! Gloria is tiny and pretty and has a baller as a HUSBAND. Yes. We see that.  You ain't gotta hate, Bambi.  Ain't gotta hate.

And let me explain why I believe it's hate:  Bambi seemed cool with G in the beginning.  They ain't have no issues. (Or so it seemed) And then they exchanged a few words over Laura and Jackie's beef and Bam comes out her mouth talking about, "I wanted to smack the shit out of you the other day."  (WHAT?!)  Not cool. Ain't gonna ride.  She don't know Gloria like that.  Gloria don't know her.  Saying that you wanted to smack the shit outta somebody that don't know you is NOT a joke.  I don't care where you are in the world.  That line is not a joke.  And Gloria handled her right by inviting her to bring it if she wanted.  I mean... what the fuck she think Gloria's reaction should have been in that situation?!

That statement alone shows that she wasn't really feelin' Gloria, despite the fact that she was all chummy with her anytime prior.  But she ain't even know Gloria.  Why would she not like her? There was nothing to not like! And then on the season finale she says that G is a rat that freaked some of Babi's "friends" in the studio.  As soon as she said that my mind went to that very public spat between Matt Barnes (Gloria's longtime boyfriend-turned- husband) and a member of Black Wall Street (who's name I can't recall) on Twitter a lil while ago over dude tweeting pics of Gloria in his hoodie and saying that he bust it down.  I was thinking, "Damn! Gloria wasn't playing when she said she BLAZED HER TRAIL just as Matt had.  She was rollin'!"

But then Bambi says during the reunion last night that the incident she was referring to when she says her "homies" told her about Gloria freakin' off in the studio is the same damn public situation we all knew about!!!!! What kinda shit is that?!  The only person that was "news" to is Jacki's old ass.  So, she fucked one, loudmouth ass nigga.  Please, get over it! Bambi was lame as hell for bringing that shit up and using it as an excuse for why she don't like Gloria.

Now, had she come in saying she don't like Gloria 'cause she a ho and gave that studio story from the jump, I wouldn't think nothing else of her dislike for Gloria.  Some people just can't get with ho ass bitches.  I can dig it.  But she came in like she was cool with Gloria and they were possibly friends.  Why would this "REAL" chick do that?  If asked, she probably wouldn't even know.  (It's da hate.)

Malaysia.  I really liked her position this season.  She has remained the same since last season.  She's chill and wants everyone to get along.  That's cool.  Every crew needs a Peacemaker.

Draya.  The biggest thing she was in this season was the whole thing with her and Brooke over this King magazine cover.  I think that she legit was pissed about dude making it a thing like Brooke got it because Draya bounced.  I can understand that.  Even if the dude felt slighted because Draya rolled out, he shouldn't have discussed that with another model.  In the real, corporate world, that's equivalent to two people going up for a promotion and the person chosen for the promotion told, "You got the position because so-and-so didn't do this or that right." NOOOOOO!!! Simply put, "You got the promotion."  That's it!!  Brooke should understand that.  And I think that after Draya explaining it that way, she does.  How Draya went about it from the jump with all that, "It's not a big deal for me.  It's a big deal for you." talk was crazy.  That kinda shade can be done without in a friendship.  But ain't it crazy how Brooke whipped Jackie's ass in defense of Draya and by the end of the season was about to hop on Draya's lil ass her damn self?! LOL (Irony. I'm a fan.)

Brooke.  I really like her.  Brooke is a cute lady and that means nothing to her.  She will get in that ass! Like how she told Bambi straight up at her pool party like, "I'm about to get it in on the drinks. If you got a problem, let me know. You wanna fight?"  And what Bambi say, "No." And Jackie.  She thought her big ass was about to get at the young(er) gal.  Brooke fucked that head all up!  And I still say that Jackie's husband paid for the fight not to see the light of day.  Jackie probably went home and cried all night long.  Got lawyers involved...Threw a lil money at it...and it's almost like, "What fight?"  Vh1 gave us the aftermath.  And that was enough for me.

And what the hell was going on, on that reunion stage last night?!  Fashion-wise it was HORRIBLE!!  Bambi had on a junior homecoming dress that made her look as wide as a middle aged mom!  Jackie had on one of those role palying 'fits you'd see in the G-rated "adult" stores.  Jackie's 'fit was like a detective coat and hooker boots or some shit.  And Laura called her out on the cheapness of them boots.  Laura was lookin' o----kaaay... Nothing to write home about.  Her sis, Gloria was lookin' plain Jane as a motha in that damn ruched white dress. Malaysia.  Her makeup was so nice!! But the dress, I felt was more so for a ball of some sort.  I was thinking BET's red carpet when I saw Draya. Brooke.  Her dress was cute as well, but not for the stage of Basketball Wives Reunion!!  The length they was giving last night was off the mark.

For some reason, I just think they should have dressed a bit more appropriate for what they gave this season.  They been watching too many Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunions or something.  Leave the damn Homecoming and fundraiser evening gowns at home!!

Can't wait till next Monday and Part II of the reunion! (And BTW, immediately airing Part I of the reunion after the season finale was genius, right?!)

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