I posted the above Textgram and caption on Instagram yesterday to reflect my sentiments at the moment.
I had recently revealed to a friend that I no longer wished to be involved in a project that she began and invited me to partake in, and give creatively to. The project is sound and seems very promising, but once really involved, I realized that it wasn't a good fit for me.
Since January, the thought to back out HAUNTED me! But, I had given my word that I'd be a part of this great opportunity that my friend was kind enough to put before me. No way was I 1: Going back on my word and 2: "Slapping my friend in the face" by (later) declining such a sweet offer. These two things had me caught up in an internal struggle against the very dominant thought to bow out as graceful as possible.
So, months pass by, and daily I carried around this struggle and I was unhappy with myself. I was unhappy that I spoke with this friend and saw this friend and pretended to have my heart in her project, when it no longer was. I became stressed to the max and even experienced a couple nightmares within the past few weeks!! And I barely ever dream.
My mind wasn't right. And it was all due to this inner issue I had. I needed a Peace of Mind. BADLY!! So, as best I could, I explained to my friend that I was backing out. And even though I truly appreciate the opportunity that she had given me; I can no longer contribute to it and be confident that I'd be proud of the final product. She understood.
And just like that, I now have a PEACE OF MIND.
I give this story to remind everyone to NOT keep things bottled up. Do NOT continue on a path that's not for you. Sometimes we are afraid of other's reactions or how they'd view us, but at the end of the day, when issues aren't spoken on, they weigh heavily on us. And we all know That's NO GOOD.